Move over Jordan Peterson this veterinary handbook contains the real rules for life

@desitively "Use drugs"

Me: "Nice."

Me, a full minute later: "Oh, they meant for the *cat*!"

@KitsuneAlicia @desitively

in my younger days I used drugs, and meowed with a cat.

This was surprisingly successful for both of us as we both got away with gratuitously making noise, (although an entire nest of yellow necked mice got away as I didn't realise he had started signalling to me where potential prey was - this wasn't a bad thing either as they are rare species in England 😁 😸 🐭 )

Me, 5 minutes after making that post: "Wait, do they mean catnip or anesthetics?"

@KitsuneAlicia Me: "To be safe, I took catnip AND anesthetics. Dunno how the cat is doing, but I feel AWESOME..."


I may have been shopping for whimsical t-shirts all day, but this would be fantastic on a t-shirt.

When I was a "baker" at Tim Hortons, the other baker was taking classes hoping to get into vet school, partly for the ability to prescribe ketamine but mostly out of a love for cats

@desitively Transcript:
Handling: general considerations

The cat is faster and has sharper teeth and nails than you do. It has no 'code of ethics' or consideration for its own future. *In a fair fight, it will win.*

1. Don't fight a cat.
2. Use your brain.
3. Use drugs.

@desitively huh, my cat must really trust me then! when a few years back i had to debride an ingrown claw injury and then trim the leg fur so the bandage tape would have somewhere to stick, he didn’t beat me up and run away, but just settled for swearing loudly and constantly in my ear and ripping whatever holes in me he could

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